IT ENDS WITH US by Colleen Hoover

When I read this book, back in 2016, I found the story heartbroken.
I was touched when I learned that the writer, Colleen Hoover, used her mother’s story for the plot of the novel (she left her abusive husband when Colleen was just a little girl and then remarried to a man who not only was a loving husband but also a good stepfather for her daughters).
This is the reason why when Colleen herself got married she was given away by her stepfather instead of her biological father who was only a guest in her wedding.

“I am in love with a man who physically hurts me. 
Of all people, I have no idea how I let myself get to this point.

There were many times growing up I wondered what was going through my mother’s head in the days after may father had hurt her. How she could possibly love a man who had laid his hands on her. A man who repeatedly hit her. Repeatedly promised he would never do it again. Repeatedly hit her again.

I hate that I can empathize with her now.

People on the outside of the situations like these often wonder why the woman goes back to the abuser.
I read somewhere once that 85 percent of women return to abusive situations. 
That was before I realized I was in one, and when I heard that statistic, I thought it was because the women were stupid.
I thought it was because they were weak.
I thought these things about my own mother more than once.

But sometimes the reason women go back is simply because they’re in love. 
I love my husband. I love so many things about him.
I wish cutting my feelings off for the person who hurt me was as easy as I used to think it would be.
Preventing your heart from forgiving someone you love is actually a hell of a lot harder than simply forgiving them.

I’m a statistic now.
The things I’ve thought about women like me are now what others would think of me if they knew my current situation.
<<How could she love him after what he did to her? How could she contemplate taking him back?>>

It’s sad that those are the first thoughts that run through our minds when someone is abused.
Shouldn’t there be more distaste in our mouths for the abusers than for those who continue to love the abusers?”

Kindle, 2016