„IT ENDS WITH US” de Colleen Hoover

Mi-a fost greu să citesc cartea „It ends with us” (publicată în 2016) datorită durerosului subiect.
Am fost emoționată să citesc că scriitoarea Colleen Hoover s-a folosit de povestea propriei mame în această carte.
Mama ei a fost cea care a decis să-și părăsească soțul abuziv, cînd Colleen era mică. Dovadă că a înțeles bine ce își dorește în următorul partener, a fost alegerea viitorului soț, care a fost și un tată vitreg bun pentru Colleen.
Din acest motiv, la nunta scriitoarei, cel care a condus-o la altar a fost tatăl vitreg și nu tatăl biologic. Acesta din urmă a fost doar un invitat la nunta fetei lui.

„I am in love with a man who physically hurts me. 
Of all people, I have no idea how I let myself get to this point.

There were many times growing up I wondered what was going through my mother’s head in the days after may father had hurt her. How she could possibly love a man who had laid his hands on her. A man who repeatedly hit her. Repeatedly promised he would never do it again. Repeatedly hit her again.

I hate that I can empathize with her now.

People on the outside of the situations like these often wonder why the woman goes back to the abuser.
I read somewhere once that 85 percent of women return to abusive situations. 
That was before I realized I was in one, and when I heard that statistic, I thought it was because the women were stupid.
I thought it was because they were weak.
I thought these things about my own mother more than once.

But sometimes the reason women go back is simply because they’re in love. 
I love my husband. I love so many things about him.
I wish cutting my feelings off for the person who hurt me was as easy as I used to think it would be.
Preventing your heart from forgiving someone you love is actually a hell of a lot harder than simply forgiving them.

I’m a statistic now.
The things I’ve thought about women like me are now what others would think of me if they knew my current situation.
<<How could she love him after what he did to her? How could she contemplate taking him back?>>

It’s sad that those are the first thoughts that run through our minds when someone is abused.
Shouldn’t there be more distaste in our mouths for the abusers than for those who continue to love the abusers?”

Kindle, 2016