ALL ABOUT LOVE: NEW VISIONS by Bell Hooks

“In everyday life males and females alike are relatively silent about love.
Our silence shields us from uncertainty.

We want to know love.

We are simply afraid the desire to know too much about love will lead us closer and closer to the abyss of lovelessness.”

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“Taught to believe that the mind, not the heart, is the seat of learning, many of us believe that to speak of love with any emotional intensity means we will be perceived as weak and irrational.”

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“Everyone wants to know more about love.

We want to know what it means to love, what we can do in our everyday lives to love and be loved.”

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“How-to classes exist for every dimension of sexuality, even masturbation.

Yet schools for love do not exist.

Everyone assumes that we will know how to love instinctively.

Despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, we still accept that the family is the primary school for love. Those of us who do not learn how to love among family are expected to experience love in romantic relationships. However, this love often eludes us.

And we spend a lifetime undoing the damage caused by cruelty, neglect, and all manner of lovelessness experienced in our families of origin and in relationships where we simply did not know what to do.

Only love can heal the wounds of the past.”

Kindle, 2022
(first published December 22, 1999)