YOU’RE NOT LISTENING by Kate Murphy

Whenever I told my husband that he was not listening to me, his answer was to recite back to me, word for word, everything I have spoken to him. 🙂
While we were in school, memorizing was essential; none of us heard about critical thinking until Communism fell (food for thought!).

Only when I read the book “You’re not listening,” written by Kate Murphy, was I able to explain to my husband why it matters to listen to each other.
I am grateful that my husband understood my need way back. And all this despite my lack of scientific explanations!!!

“Listening requires, more than anything, curiosity.

By listening, more than any other activity, plugs you into life.

Listening helps you understand yourself as much as those speaking to you.”
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“People in long-term relationships tend to loose their curiosity for each other.
Not necessarily in an unkind way; they just become convinced they know each other better than they do.
They don’t listen because they think they already know what the other person will say.

But no matter how well we try to listen, or how close we feel to another person, it’s important to remember we can never really know another person’s mind.

People can change how they are in relationships when they learn to listen and be emotionally responsive to others.”
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“Parents can make the same sort of mistakes, assuming they know what their children like or don’t like and what they would or would not do.”
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“To listen does not mean, or even imply, that you agree with someone.

It simply means you accept the legitimacy of the other person’s point of view and that you might have something to learn from it.

It also means that you embrace the possibility that there might be multiple truths and understanding them all might lead to a larger truth.”

Published by: Harvill Secker, LONDON, 2020