FAIRY TALES FOR MILLENIALS de Bruno Vincent

Recunosc, sunt o fată care a crescut citind povești și crezînd în ele!!! 

Revenind la poveștile copilăriei mele, am descoperit volumul scris de Bruno Vincent “Fairy Tales for Millenials”, a cărei copertă m-a amuzat teribil. 
Poveștile clasice sunt rescrise pentru copiii din ziua de azi, cei care au telefon încă din scutece.

Am ales povestea Cenușăresei spre exemplificare.

Așadar, în această versiune, mama vitregă, devenită regină în urma morții regelui, înființează o companie în care își numește propriile fete în funcțiile de CEO respectiv CFO (deh, nepotism!!!), în timp ce biata Cenușăreasă capătă funcția de “unpaid intern at the firm”.
“She was expected to work sixteen-hour days cleaning the office, managing the stockroom, and signing for and unloading deliveries.”

Ca și în povestea originală, Cenușăreasa ajunge la bal unde îl întâlnește pe Prinț. După dansul obligatoriu, la miezul nopții, ea fuge și își pierde un pantof.
“The next thing that people were talking about in the office was the online campaign to find Prince Charming’s mysterious girl.”

Cînd în sfârșit, Prințul o identifică pe moderna Cenușăreasă, între ei are loc următorul dialog (perfect normal pentru Millenials) :

“- If you come with me, he said, you’ll never have to work again.”

“- I never had to work in the first place, she said, looking at her dusty hands and wiping them on her backside, if I didn’t want to. You know that.
So throw out the damsel rescuing routine, OK? It’s out of date and it stinks.

He was crestfallen. More than that – he looked genuinely stung.

“- Look, she said. Getting sent here was an incredible opportunity. I’ve always hated being royalty. Not allowed to help the poor and starving,  or even talk to them. Because it wasn’t the done thing.
When my stepmother put me in this job, I saw a lifeline – an extremely useful life experience that a normal princess never normally gets. I welcomed it.”

“- Great, said prince Charming, rallying. But I’d say after all this time you’ve got that experience, right? And you can take your rightful place as a princess – and a future queen – better prepared to rule than any of her predecessors.”

“- Hey, I’m sorry, said Cinderalla. She even patted him on the knee.
I know no one has ever said this to you before.
I am not interested.
I’m eighteen, she said. Who gets married at eighteen?
I’m studying towards a law degree, so I can help people in the slums who have no rights. After studying, I’m going travelling. To have some real experiences. And fend for myself, like real people do.
After travelling, I’m going to have a career. Find a place in my chosen industry.
And, let’s face it, probably shag around a bit.
Then maybe settle into a solid relationship, if I meet someone.”

Inspirat de discursul Cenușăresei, Prințul hotărește:
“- From now on, I want to live a real life, giving back to people instead of leeching off them! 
I’ll revoke my royal status and become a doctor. I’ll work in the world’s most dangerous war zones! Bringing relief to the oppressed!”

Finalul poveștii este cam așa:

“And so Prince Charming gave up his titles and lands, and devoted his life to good causes.
Cinders and he became friends and colleagues, and soon afterwards fellow students. On a couple of occasions they got drunk and emotional, and lay fully clothed next to each other pretending to be asleep.
Then, gradually, as time passed and their lives became busier, they lost touch and forgot about each other. Then they died.
That’s life, innit.”

Editura: Penguin Books (2019)