{"id":5620,"date":"2021-03-19T09:25:09","date_gmt":"2021-03-19T09:25:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.exlibrismeis.com\/?p=5620\/"},"modified":"2024-07-09T05:20:24","modified_gmt":"2024-07-09T05:20:24","slug":"youre-not-listening-kate-murphy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.exlibrismeis.com\/en\/2021\/03\/19\/youre-not-listening-kate-murphy\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;YOU&#8217;RE NOT LISTENING&#8221; by Kate Murphy"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.exlibrismeis.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Youre-not-listening-1.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-5639\" src=\"https:\/\/www.exlibrismeis.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Youre-not-listening-1-197x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"197\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.exlibrismeis.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Youre-not-listening-1-197x300.jpg 197w, https:\/\/www.exlibrismeis.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Youre-not-listening-1.jpg 327w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 197px) 100vw, 197px\" \/><\/a>Whenever I told my husband that he was not listening to me, his answer was to recite back to me, word for word, everything I have spoken to him. \ud83d\ude42 <br \/>\nWhile we were in school, memorizing was essential; none of us heard about critical thinking until Communism fell (food for thought!).<\/p>\n<p>Only when I read the book &#8220;You&#8217;re not listening,&#8221; written by Kate Murphy, was I able to explain to my husband why it matters to listen to each other. <br \/>\nI am grateful that my husband understood my need way back. And all this despite my lack of scientific explanations!!!<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #008000;\"><em><strong>&#8220;Listening requires, more than anything, curiosity.<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #008000;\"><em><strong>By listening, more than any other activity, plugs you into life.<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #008000;\"><em><strong>Listening helps you understand yourself as much as those speaking to you.&#8221;<br \/>\n<\/strong><\/em><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;.<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #008000;\"><em><strong>&#8220;People in long-term relationships tend to loose their curiosity for each other.<\/strong><\/em><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\"><em><strong>Not necessarily in an unkind way; they just become convinced they know each other better than they do.<\/strong><\/em><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\"><em><strong>They don&#8217;t listen because they think they already know what the other person will say.<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #008000;\"><em><strong>But no matter how well we try to listen, or how close we feel to another person, it&#8217;s important to remember we can never really know another person&#8217;s mind.<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #008000;\"><em><strong>People can change how they are in relationships when they learn to listen and be emotionally responsive to others.&#8221;<br \/>\n<\/strong><\/em><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;.<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #008000;\"><em><strong>&#8220;Parents can make the same sort of mistakes, assuming they know what their children like or don&#8217;t like and what they would or would not do.&#8221;<br \/>\n<\/strong><\/em><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;.<\/strong><\/span><em><strong><br \/>\n<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #008000;\"><em><strong>\u201cTo listen does not mean, or even imply, that you agree with someone.<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #008000;\"><em><strong>It simply means you accept the legitimacy of the other person\u2019s point of view and that you might have something to learn from it.<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #008000;\"><em><strong>It also means that you embrace the possibility that there might be multiple truths and understanding them all might lead to a larger truth.\u201d<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Published by: Harvill Secker, LONDON, 2020<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Whenever I told my husband that he was not listening to me, his answer was to recite back to me, word for word, everything I have spoken to him. \ud83d\ude42 While we were in school, memorizing was essential; none of us heard about critical thinking until Communism fell (food for thought!). Only when I read [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5639,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5620","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-non-fiction-en"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>&quot;YOU&#039;RE NOT LISTENING&quot; by Kate Murphy -<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.exlibrismeis.com\/en\/2021\/03\/19\/youre-not-listening-kate-murphy\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"&quot;YOU&#039;RE NOT LISTENING&quot; by Kate Murphy -\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Whenever I told my husband that he was not listening to me, his answer was to recite back to me, word for word, everything I have spoken to him. \ud83d\ude42 While we were in school, memorizing was essential; none of us heard about critical thinking until Communism fell (food for thought!). 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